Smile, Though Your Heart Is Aching

This morning I sent the link for our registry to New Day Foster Home (I like to keep them in the loop, in case they can help me help them) and I received the most heartbreaking email in return:

Oh Ashley… Reese passed away last Thursday night. He suddenly had a lot of trouble breathing and we rushed him to the hospital. The doctors were able to “rescue” him many times but in the end they could not save him. He is now in his heavenly rest. I don’t know what to say… It’s really hard on all of us, the nannies especially. He was finally doing so well, we thought that he had overcome most of his challenges, although he still had the trach.

I know that you’ll need to process this first… it’s really hard. Let me know what you want to do. Of course the fundraising could continue – maybe in his honor? Other babies will come one day whom we would love to be able to say “yes” to because of Reese.


IMG_1859-2The tears started pouring down my cheeks, I couldn’t help it. Was he scared? In pain? Was someone able to hold him? This sweet baby gave it everything he could, but his little body just gave out in the end.

The Lord immediately put Job on my heart. Satan thought the only reason Job loved God was because he had a pretty comfortable life; if Job didn’t have his family, money, land, or health, Satan was sure Job would curse God. But he didn’t. In fact, Job shows us how to face adversity and hardship.

  • “Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” (v. 2:10)
  • “God is wise in heart and mighty in strength. Who has hardened himself against God and prospered?” (v. 9:4)
  • “He is also my salvation, for a hypocrite could not come before Him.” (v. 13:16)
  • “But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold.” (v. 23:10)

Screen Shot 2014-10-01 at 3.36.16 PM

Life is full of ups and downs – God gives and He takes away. What use is cursing the Lord? How could it possibly benefit me to be forever mad at God? If I claim faith in Him, I must accept the joy and the pain knowing there is a purpose for every season in life. Each obstacle is a choice: I can turn to God or I can turn away from Him. Right now, I’m running to the Lord with open arms, craving His comfort.

reeseThis is my prayer in the desert
When all that’s within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame

I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

IMG_1189This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I’ll stand

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favour and providence flow
I know I’m filled to be emptied again
The seed I’ve received I will sow

I refuse to give this round to Satan. I will not be discouraged in my mission to introduce people to New Day Foster Home and the precious lives they touch every day. Will you join me in re-committing to this beautiful cause? Through your giving, New Day Foster Home will be able to accept more babies, giving them a chance at life. Can I ask you to give $10 right now? Please?

Every single life, no matter how short or long, is a precious gift. Because Reese’s life intertwined with mine and now yours, we have the opportunity to save other abandoned babies in China. I’m not giving up, and I hope you won’t either.

It will take me a little bit to get the text on the fundraising page switched over, but this link is still good: << Maybe share it with your Facebook friends? Every bit helps these little ones.


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