The Happiest Place on Earth

My mother-in-law is in town for a week and before y’all give me the “yowza” look, let me just say I totally lucked out in the MIL Department. She is awesome. She also loves Disney so, seeing as how my house is a hop, skip, and a traffic jam jump from Anaheim, when she said she wanted to go, I said, “Well, we can do that.”

I haven’t been to a Disney park since I was 5. All I remember from that trip was being terrified of Space Mountain, the teacups, and the caterpillar in the Electric Light Parade. Sorry, Mom and Dad; I know y’all dropped $1,000 back in 1988 to take us to Florida and that’s all I remember. Whatcha gonna do…

In true blogger fashion, I opted to record our trip in pictures with the intention of sharing them with you! So, here we go:

IMG_7837When we got to the park, my skeptical, reasonable, frugal, and germaphobic adult self was nowhere to be found. Instead, it was replaced by an enthusiastic, energetic, OH-MY-GOSH-IT’S-MICKEY-AND-SENSORY-OVERLOAD!!! 5-year old.

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Once I calmed down long enough to remember to look both ways before crossing the street and the merits of STRANGER DANGER! we went inside. We wanted a 1-day pass for both parks, but the ticket employee said, with our military discount, it’s actually cheaper to buy a 3-day pass for both parks. While this might not make sense to a lot of people, let me say that Disney is brilliant. I mean, off the charts brilliant. You will drop a ton of cash in this park, whether it’s for food, souvenirs, parking, or stroller rentals. If they can get you to come back 2 MORE TIMES, you’ll drop even more dough than you would have if you just came once.

Ash & Mr. ToadI found the nostalgia of Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride highly entertaining. I recall “The Wind in the Willows” from my childhood, but I only remember a totally irresponsible toad stealing (and crashing) a bunch of cars. Apparently, there were some darker parts of that story, like being hit by a train and traveling through what appears to be a sugar-coated version of hell. Maybe I should read that book again, as an adult, before subjecting my kiddos to it…

IMG_7858 (1)When we made it to Space Mountain, I thought I was ready to ride the roller coaster that had been such a nightmare to my kindergarten self, but then I saw a 5-year old boy was there with his mom, dad, brother, and sister. Y’all, he was horrified by this roller coaster. I remember feeling exactly the same way he did way back in 1988. My heart broke for him. His dad encouraged him, gave him lots of hugs, and when things got really bad, held him so he wouldn’t cry. That’s the dad photobombing my picture. I can’t poke fun at him for the photobomb because he’s just such a good dad! Way to go, mister!

awesomeI don’t know what happened to that kid, but he probably cried his eyes out – even I was a little freaked out because holy smokes, Batman, it’s dark! Just remember, kid, to come back 26 years from now, see the children crying in line, remember how your dad reminded you “it’s going to be okay” and “we’ve already waited half an hour to ride this thing, so we’re going to ride it” and realize your trauma was and remains totally normal.

IMG_7865Then we moseyed next door to Star Tours and — hold on, hold on. Y’all, I have to confess something. I can only imagine the shock, horror, disappointment, and pity that is going to bombard me when I say this because, honestly, I feel like I kinda let everyone down. When I think about it. I don’t know how it happened, or why, but it did and I’m sorry.

*deep breath* I have… *deep breath* I’ve never seen Star Wars.

breathe-gifI know. Do you need a minute? Can we still be friends? I want to see all of the movies, so at least it’s not like I’m opposed to them. Maybe I should start a GoFundMe so I can buy the DVDs or something. Just think of the awesome blog posts that experience will yield. I mean, you can only watch them for the first time once, so maybe it will be entertaining for y’all to read.

confused smileAnyway, we went to Star Tours and were greeted by R2PO and C3D2…KIDDING! R2D2 and C3PO. No, I didn’t google it. The premise of the 3D ride is a spy for the Rebel Alliance has boarded the ship and Darth Vader is in hot pursuit! The ship, captained by a nervous and high-strung C3PO, traveled to various planets seeking to escape Stormtroopers. Want to hear the craziest part?! I WAS THE REBEL SPY! I’m pretty sure they picked me because I was the only one who very heartily laughed at the guy’s Chewbacca impression.

RebelSpyI don’t know what that means, but it made me enjoy the ride THAT much more. The only one who had never seen the movies was the one singled out as the cool kid on the ride. Sorry, not sorry. There’s a t-shirt in the gift shop that reads “I am the rebel spy” and I might just go back and fork out $50 for it because, hey, that needs to be commemorated. On second thought, that $50 is my spending budget for a week and a half. I really don’t need that shirt… Don’t lose the irony in the following gif:

brokeBefore we called it quits for the day, my sweet tooth started acting up, ya know, like it does, and I was jonesing for one of those Mickey Mouse rice krispy treats. And not just any ol’ rice krispy treat. The one with the chocolate-dipped ears and sprinkles. The one that costs $4.95. I was so appalled excited I mutilated ate half of Mickey’s head before I thought to take a picture, which this guy apparently wanted to be in.

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Whatever floats your boat, dude. The fact of the matter is Disney will take you to the bank all day long but this trip is one I will never forget. My inner-child was pleased and my adult self appreciated every last minute detail, top-notch hospitality, and the sacrifices so many families make so their kids can experience a little bit of magic in a fallen world.

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So exhausted, but so happy. Thank you a million times to my MIL for a magical day!

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2 thoughts on “The Happiest Place on Earth

  1. Jonathan Grim says:

    I’m a long time Disneyland fan, even though it’s very bittersweet for me these days. Glad you enjoyed your trip!
    You should totally take the husband next time. Flag retreat is a daily event there, and fun to participate in.

    Like

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